aggravation.
aggravation..
aggravation.
(synonym of pain, i wont call it pain cos it deserves a lesser word. not that it hurts less but i dont think i want to give it that much satisfaction.)

Yesterday had potential to be the best day of my life, instead the whirlwind of perfect experiences was tainted with ignorance, jealousy and sad cliche's for later writing.
every few yards of beauty was half-matched with an act made by another that proved to aggrevate and decrease my day. this i dont show, i live my life for others sometimes. im not willing to gloom about showing my pains because it will inevitably spill over to anothers cup. i guess im trying to be selfless but im finding more and more that it is a selfish act. as christians, out burdens are not out own.

i feel like a fool for thinking that things change and the best of people is what will come. For thinking that the bear trap is gone and that the pile of leaves is just a pile of beautiful leaves fallen from the beautiful red and orange trees. i was wrong, my leg is torn and bloody and i hope ive learned that i shouldnt eat regurgitated food.

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it doesnt much feel like my daily bread,
or you like the air i breath. but it must be!

why?

because i have felt, and been fed and breathed your breath.
ive seen and tasted, heard you and touched thy hem.
at that i humbly ask to be made full, and for my mild lungs to expand and contract within your chest.
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I went to see mewithoutYou last night, before hand we (daniel, laura, sarah) walked around seattle for hours. it was really entertaining, and fun. it was a chore to make it that but it was worth it. while standing in line, next to their tour bus david sparks saw aaron weiss, the lead singer for mwY. they talked for a little while and the flowers were brought up, aarond said that he didnt have any for the show yet but was going to get them soon. he then asked daniel if he had a car, daniel said nope but they do. it ended up being me driving around seattle to get flowers from pike place market. we eventually found it and 4 folks piled out my my overweight van to scrounge for day old flowers (as the market is closed on sundays and this was in fact sunday). All the while daniel and i talked in the car and played with my novelty keyboard. The returned like 20 minutes later with a garbage bag full of peppers and old whithered flowers. aaron played us a number on the keys and is a rad guy. he is a regular guy, no rock star no god among men. i never thought of him that way but it was nice to have this "icon" (to me anyway) manifest himself as being who he turned out to be. Thank you aaron.

we left and went to 7-11 in bothell, then i drove laura and sarah to the sparks where they are sleeping in a camper. the night ended with a handshake and less than a few words. i then drove daniel home, which was cool. we talked a bit and the ride seemed shorter than ive ever known before. while on my way home I...then i went to sleep.