in the beginning

...this day was beautiful.
God i long to be with You and while that longing remains, i desire a full life. Nothing medial, nothing ordiniary, i people to speak in envy of how you used me. And i want that envy to grow into desire and that desire to be rooted in You. That my life would inspire usefulness and worth and that because of your workings righteousness would spring.

This is a beautiful day.
i opened at work today. i woke at 5:45 to an alarm i put near my head to assure my waking. Josh was standing over me. i thougt it was david scrambling to end all noise.
he laughed, at this point it was obviously a seigel. he informed me that he and daniel were just now going to bed. they had just finished up a 3+hr game of Age of Mythology.

God this is not empty,
forced thankfullness. Take it and bless the thought. Thank You Lord, That i live with five amazing guys. ive been an ass lately. forgive me for my cynical and ever-critical assesment of every one of them. it was wrong. i was wrong. More than anything right now i desire to grow with these guys. in knowledge and in faith. we will often disagree but let there be no quarrel among us. bless our home with peace and virtue. descend upon our lives with beauty and give us fervant hearts desire your ways, not our own.

Eloi, i seek you.
amen.

today i hung out with 4 wonderful fems. we went to the khmer new year celebration. good food, humorous/cheesy play and a few culturally distinct dances. it was cool getting to see what another culture holds important. good to see what a friend has known as culture. i was tired but dont want that to be an excuse. i shut down halfway through the night. maybe a build up of many things but my mind seemed to have vanished. someone would say something and my mouth wanted to respond out of habit...my mind would not follow. it was strange, it was sad-i think.

adam